Lindsay Lohan’s Inexplicable Aliveness Busting Many Death Pools

Twenty-nine-year-old actress Lindsay Lohan has made millions of dollars over a two decade-long career in film and television; however, she’s also cost bettors nearly that much by remaining alive against all reasonable expectations. Lohan, who has been in and out of rehab for a variety of death-inducing addictions, was the first overall selection in nearly every death pool draft. A virtual lock to have killed … Continue reading Lindsay Lohan’s Inexplicable Aliveness Busting Many Death Pools

Veteran Doctor Demands Trade After Hospital Brings in Young New Podiatrist

A podiatrist of twenty-seven years, Doctor Saul Brentford today was stunned and infuriated to learn that the hospital at which he works has hired a young new colleague. Brentford’s recent $80,000 bonus and a guarantee from the Chief of Medicine that he would still be working with the community’s most interesting feet have done little to curb the fifty-four-year-old’s outrage. The veteran doctor has gone … Continue reading Veteran Doctor Demands Trade After Hospital Brings in Young New Podiatrist