Michael Bay Buys Legal Rights to ‘Titanic’ Sequel

Hollywood insiders reported Wednesday that dreadful film director Michael Bay has recently purchased the legal rights to a Titanic sequel. Experts are dumbfounded and perplexed as to what in god’s name the fifty-one-year-old plans to do with his newly acquired property. When asked if he understood how history works, Bay reportedly answered, “huh?” Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet have publicly shared their bewilderment, while Brendan … Continue reading Michael Bay Buys Legal Rights to ‘Titanic’ Sequel

Hitler Reportedly Upset That Stalin Has Better Condo in Hell

According to sources close to the Führer, Adolf Hitler is apparently dissatisfied with the size and location of his new condo in Hell. A recent bureaucratic restructuring of Hell’s top executives — which has resulted in a shift in the afterlife destination’s housing policy — has led to mandatory moves, not all of which have been met with citizens’ approval. Newly appointed head of Habitation … Continue reading Hitler Reportedly Upset That Stalin Has Better Condo in Hell