Booger-Eating Child Outgrows Flavor, Disappoints Local Bullies

A twelve-year old from Salmon, Idaho, Miles Overberg had, until recently, a clearly defined identity at Riverside Middle School: he was the booger-eating kid. Reportedly, however, the gross little fuck has begun finding the taste of his nostril goblins less and less appealing. “I’m just not into it anymore,” said the sixth grader. “Leave me alone.” Disappointed colleagues lament the unexpected palate evolution of the … Continue reading Booger-Eating Child Outgrows Flavor, Disappoints Local Bullies

McDonald’s Good For You, Insists Uninformed Uncle

Local uncle Reggie Upwith spent Saturday evening locked in a nutritional conversation with his disinterested nephew Andrew. According to onlookers, the fast food industry was the primary focus of his diatribe. “Don’t let the media trick you! I’ve eaten a Big Mac every day for twenty years and I’m healthy as an ox!” Conditioned by years of specious reasoning, Andrew chose simply to smile and … Continue reading McDonald’s Good For You, Insists Uninformed Uncle