Michael Bay Buys Legal Rights to ‘Titanic’ Sequel

Hollywood insiders reported Wednesday that dreadful film director Michael Bay has recently purchased the legal rights to a Titanic sequel.

Experts are dumbfounded and perplexed as to what in god’s name the fifty-one-year-old plans to do with his newly acquired property. When asked if he understood how history works, Bay reportedly answered, “huh?”


Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet have publicly shared their bewilderment, while Brendan Fraser and Hayden Christensen have expressed serious interest in the ill-advised project.

“There are just so many possibilities on where to take the story,” the director said. When asked to name one, Bay reportedly answered, “huh?”

Explosions and nonsensical storylines are sure to abound in the imprudent new film, with those close to Bay suggesting that he intends to ruin the franchise with aliens and shit.

When asked to confirm, Bay reportedly answered, “huh?”


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