Veteran Doctor Demands Trade After Hospital Brings in Young New Podiatrist

A podiatrist of twenty-seven years, Doctor Saul Brentford today was stunned and infuriated to learn that the hospital at which he works has hired a young new colleague.

Brentford’s recent $80,000 bonus and a guarantee from the Chief of Medicine that he would still be working with the community’s most interesting feet have done little to curb the fifty-four-year-old’s outrage. The veteran doctor has gone so far as to demand a trade.

“I just think it’s time to move on,” Brentford said. “It’s clear that Waterwood Medical Center wants to go in another direction. It would be better for both parties if we just went our separate ways.”

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The doctor’s agent has informed Chief of Medicine Ronnie Hoseman of the aging star’s request.

“At this point, he is still under contract,” Hoseman said matter-of-factly. “If I give Brentford a pair of feet, I expect him to fix ’em!”

Indeed, moving Brentford could prove difficult. Famously, Waterwood’s recent catalog of trades has been less than impressive. Several lopsided deals have put Hoseman on the hot-seat, not least of which last spring’s exchange that sent the area’s most promising obstetrician to rival Eastlawn Hospital for a deaf nurse and two refurbished electrosurgical generators.

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